ancestral ache

the hurt has eased

now that I am nurturing less

of fantasies

telling myself the ongoing

tales of woe and pain

that never the less were true

sometimes I feel drawing near to me

in these quieter hours

the healing balm of my own soul’s solace

even as my mind

tries again and again to tear me down

there we evenings all I could do was long

with a longing so deep that it could not have been

only my own

Its why I phoned you so many times just to connect

even if at times our words fell short

there was a comfort in the silence

uneasy as it was

but now you are not here any more

and so I must accept it all

it does not hurt as much as it used to do

because I have integrated much of it

now there is just something so deep and silent

some kind of acceptance opening up

pehaps a kind of peace?

thank God for that

but still my soul questions

will this deep ancestral ache

ever completely

go away?