resurfacing

Sometimes I lacked that arms to hold you tight

I could not feed you what was

Nurturing to you body, mind and soul

And so it was too

In conditions of emotional deprivation

A huge part of my being

Stayed submerged

Held down deep under a weight

Of heavy ancestral waters

So now if I struggle to resurface

And swim

Seeking a way to use the power of my spirit

To rise

Cresting the waves

Sometimes the surge of utter fear

Will almost possess me

I longed for air

When your storms

Made it almost impossible

To breathe

And the longing to heal something

So primal and deep possessed me

Eclipsing and making me run rampant

With anxiety over everything

And so my potential present faded out

Held to ransom by all of these

Past ancestral ‘sins’

Which were nothing more than

The mixed up seeds

Of an emerging

Soul full

Spiritual life

Longing for itself