my galaxy

Its hard to say these words to you

But I needed you Dad

It was so hard trying to bury all of the hurt

That came from you not being able to see

How to help me

So that now sometimes it feels like

Death is the only way to be whole again

But even as I type these words I know

They do not speak the truth

I read it a long time ago and I believe it to be true

That when we block our hearts from opening to why

And how it was to have that flow of love connection

Torn away or split off

Then we will continue to carry the cost

Into each new relationship

That is why now I no longer

Want to turn my back on love

And so I will do my best to draw close to you

In spirit

God knows our trauma only heals

When we can connect in this present moment

To this present moment

Like an innocent child

Who saw the stars and marveled at galaxies

You were my galaxy then

But I got lost when you could not read my signals

And so I fell into isolation

A place I no longer want to live

Denying the truth of hurt

The pain of loss

The longing to be

Truly seen and loved