Modern tides

Sometimes the super charge of all of this

Unlived energy

Just floods me

And I am no longer sure

What is the pent up knowing of what a truly

In touch connected life

Could bring

And what is past trauma

Itching and screaming and scratching its messages

From deep inside my skin

Lately love came to me from another place

No strings attached

And after all of the hurt

The taste of it was so sweet

But these promises i made to you

Weigh heavily upon me

So I let him go

Because you assured me he is lying

I cry at times

I loved this guy

As I loved you too

And for me he seemed a bright new chance

To love in skin again

And find a way to be real

Now I am again back

In limbo

I wait here under the cover of dusk

So many memories flooding me

Trying my best to give love

To stay conneced

Amidst all of the failures and

Shifting perspectives

While polar ice caps melt

And I think of the trauma our own ignorance

Wreaks upon this earth

I know there is a place that is heaven

I feel it so deeply in my soul

That it is a real possibility for us

To bring it to earth

And yet

Sometimes all of this surrounding disaster

Just makes me flounder

Like a beached whale

Whose sonar signals got pulled into disarray

By the mixed up currents

Of these chaotic jangled about

Modern tides

Of change, loss and confusion