To say a person is mad may mean that person is either crazy or angry. What this tells us is that anger is not an acceptable emotion. Children are taught very early on to curb their anger; often they are punished if, in the course of an angry reaction, they hurt someone. Disputes, they are admonished should be settled amicably and with words. The ideal is to have reason prevail over action.
But conflicts can not always be settled amicably, with reasoning. Tempers may flare. I don’t mean one has to resort to physical violence to express an angry feeling. Anger can be expressed in a look or by the tone of one;s voice. Once can assert with feeling. “I am angry with you.” Some situations do call for the physical expression of anger. If violence is used on you it may be appropriate to fight back. Without the right to strike when one is hit, one feels powerless and humiliated. We have seen what that can do to the personality.
I strongly believe that if children were allowed to voice their anger at their parent’s whenever they felt they had a legitimate grievance, we would see far fewer narcissistic personalities. Giving a child this right would allow a real respect for the child’s feelings.
Emerging From The Dark Night 