confusing human illusion

Lately I am growing tired of trying

Trying to figure out who is telling the truth with no agenda

And who is lying

(if only to themselves… and does that include me, too?)

Old feelings and memories rise

At this time of year it seems

I have only ever said a thousand goodbyes

Throughout the tangled twisting path

That has formed the course of my life

Now as I seek my roots

There are tough truths I have to face

Perhaps this is a growing time

And often new growth really just requires

The shedding of the old

One of the things I find it so hard to do

Is to let go

To let it be

Allowing my constricted heart to breathe

For as a friend said to me today

We do not cannot fix everything

And finding a way to live with it in peace

Maybe the the only way to find release

And yet we are human and we struggle

With old wounds

So let me just allow this tonight :

I need to rest

I tried my best

You asked too too much

And I had enough

But sadly there is still a part of me that always believes

If only

I try harder

Things will improve

Could this all just really be

Lately proving to be

The most confusing

Of human illusions?