When People Claim Abusers Don’t Know What They’re Doing

I once saw a meme that basically said to forgive your parents no matter what they have done to you. They were wounded from their childhood & didn’t know what they were doing to you because of that. It’s up to you to break the cycle.

I’ve noticed this mentality is pretty common, & not always with parents. It can be said with an abusive spouse who was raised watching one parent abuse the other. It also can be said of the mother in-law mistreats her daughter in-law. Her mother in-law wasn’t good to her so clearly she must not know how to be a good mother in-law.

The problem with this is this is nothing more than an excuse. It’s an apologist stand in favor of abusive people. It is so wrong!

While yes, people whose parents abused them may not know how to be a good parent, but…