In knots

Today I finally realized what you did to me

When you bound me up in knots

There was never ever a clear safe passage way through

For my heart’s arrow

And then when it kept getting spun off

Left of centre

No wonder I missed so many

Of the right spots

I tried and tried and tried with you

Until I became so tired

There was nothing else left to do

But to let go

When I saw the futility of it

Something deep inside of me snapped

So if today I screamed

You cannot erase me

Thank God

As I yelled and shook

And threw it all off

There was a part of me that I always thought

Could keep on coming back for more

Almost as if I could take the hit

And still live drowning inside the gloom of it

But today I clearly saw

This miserable life is not for me any more

Because it is never ever too late

To choose

To be at peace

And to find the space

Where unending negativity

And a body full of unfelt

Pain and angst

Can no longer

Drown me

Bring me undone

Or bury me

Again