Implicit memory stays stored in our bodies in adulthood and how we were related to leaves an imprint at a visceral level which explains how lack of soothing, later in life leads to difficulties with relating and reaching out. The following excerpt from the book Healing Development Trauma explains :
Infant observation studies suggest that infants are born with a great deal of relational knowing. They show anticipation of contact and are upset with violations of expected loving connection. These types of relational patterns are seen to be true in ALL infants. This universal human experience is anchored in what is now called implicit relational knowing.. As adults, we experience a visceral recognition and sense of heartfelt expansion during authentic person to person connection and a visceral distress when connection fails. The joy that arises in moments of authentic meeting, of meaningful connection, is recognized by all humans as central to the feelings of aliveness that infuse our desire to live. Much of adult’s memories or relational trauma involve stories of the outrage they experienced in the face of what they viscerally knew to be a violation of natural goodness.
Restoring a sense of that goodness cannot happen as long as we stay trapped in protective contraction or reaction, but it is only natural that we contract when such experiences of not being meaningfully related to in baby and childhood were frequent
In addition the rational cortex (the part of our brain that helps us to make meaning of our experiences) is rooted in the earlier emotional limbic system; cortical and limbic brains are inseparably intertwined. In effect we have two minds.. one that thinks and one that feels – the classic duality of the rational head and emotional heart. The emotional brain is the foundation on which the rational brain is built. .. excessively high levels of emotional arousal therefore impair (explicit) memory. . and high levels of circulating cortisol present in traumatic relating can cause cell damage and shut down the hippocampus. precipitating impairments in explicit memory.. so with early trauma, memories are hidden and sensations over-ride the rational mind..thus startle responses, nightmares as well as visual and somatic flash backs.
When these arise we need help to make sense of them and it is mentioned by the writers that in therapy there is a difference between reliving traumatic experiences and remembering the trauma.. this we will need help with and since the pull of the past present in such reactions (of reliving) can be so overwhelming we need good help to remain grounded in the present while re-membering experiences in therapy.. In my experience this takes a lot of time as a foundation of understanding, safety and trust takes a lot of time to establish with a therapist and within ourselves due to the overwhelming nature of developmental trauma.
Emerging From The Dark Night 