a funeral in winter

In winter the cold seeps slowly into you bones

as winter chill eases out the warmth of sunlight

this is only a temporary phase though

in the cycle of the seasons

and when all lies fallow

do not forget the inner life that is captured within

there are still seeds germinating

even under the cover of darkness

there is still warmth there that can be found

deep within the fertile earth

in the winter although hard memories come

I try to remember

that was then

this is now

I am no longer the fragile wounded girl

torn apart

wandering lost

on the brink of adulthood

as times I still catch glimpses of her

but lately I am learning to surround

that part of me

with words of love

to cover over her soul with cloak of safety

and remind her how strong she was

for surviving

even if no one else saw how tough it was

now I see we each live our own experience

and sometimes worlds divide us

from each other

and that it’s not a sign of anything wrong

maybe now in the midst of winter

I am finding comfort

maybe lately I am seeing that over all of these long years

I have finally made my peace with ghosts

because today as her family carried that flower laden coffin

past me

I did not cry as much

instead I felt surrounding me

all of the love of my dear departed

and a host of angels sang

in a way perhaps only my

thirsty heart and soul

could silently hear and feel