i cant give up

I can’t seem to give up on Scott no matter how tough things are for us right now. I end up crying most days over the powerlessness of it all, of thinking about how no one much will believe us, or even give us a chance.. And Scott could not even reply to me yesterday as he was crying which makes me cry and feel all I can do is bury my head in the sand.. I had to go back to sleep this morning as I was awake from 4 am for a couple of hours with my body spiraling and so much going round and round so much so that I could not even reply when he told me this.. And then he thought I was leaving him and it turned into another argument..

Life can be such a test at times and I am feeling the approach of this full moon in Scorpio on Tuesday. It could be a time when emotions and tensions run high and its been super tough over there this week with the President of Chad losing his life in battle and 200 more killed recently…But I listened to a talk by Joyce Meyer on not running from challenges and this brings to mind some of the most important words from the AA Big Book. “we thought we could find an easier softer way but we could not”, its a good thing to be sensitive but its also a good thing to be tough, strong and wise as well.. and to keep facing up to those challenges that we can bear due to the fact of our inner voice just saying we must not give up or let go..

I read a lovely poem by Marieke Schrueder this week that spoke of true love being forged in the dark and tough places..

https://rosegirl.blog/2021/04/22/how-diamonds-are-formed/

Real love does not give up with things get tough, when the devil or other people try to dissuade us from our hearts and intuition.. Sometimes we just have to be strong and drown out the noise of the world and of popular opinion that does not take into account that real life is full of challenges and twists and turnings.. That is what I am realizing lately.. To thine own heart be true..