The Moon met up with the Sun in Aries an hour ago and is flanked by both Mercury and Venus too with Chiron thrown into the mix. That is a hell of a lot of fire today and the Venus Pluto square was exact a short time ago (note the Sun and Mercury will also be squaring Pluto over the next week or two). I don’t know if anyone else has been having surges of fiery anger over past days but I certainly have. Been putting a lot of that energy into the garden..into walking..into touching base with nature and asking for cleansing while making sure I drink as much water as I can.. There is an uplift to the energy for me though that is surrounding me lately, there is a lot of freedom and joy in it.. I have also been loving watching the NBC series Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist on Stan over the weekend.. the signing and dancing in it really brings my heart and spirit alive.
It has also been good to let the grief over my Dad pour out of me. I am not expecting it to ‘heal’ or be removed any time in my lifetime but I can live with it now.. I accept things were as they were and I let myself feel those longings for a father who saw me and to be honest according to stuff Mum told me over the years after he died he was always trying to give Mum advice about how to deal with my outbursts of frustration when they happened with a Mum who I felt often wanted to turn me into something else or had a hard time understanding the way I ticked..
There is a lot of my Mum in my brother, too and in therapy today Katina said she feels I am an enigma to my brother.. He really does not know what to make of me.. I shared the post on ambition and ego in therapy with Kat today.. On the positive side my brother is an extremely talented guy, he is very creative, its just he can get tunnel vision about stuff and he admits this.. I think a long time ago he also had to become avoidant to cope with life, his daughter told me a few years ago he does not really know how to relate to my living sister and I. He seems to misjudge my other sister a lot.. I do not think he can ever understand how it was growing up in a house where his needs were the center of attention and we all just had to revolve around him..It is interesting to me hat this current stellium opposes several of his planets in Libra. My brother is not a bad or malevolent guy he just checks out….and to be honest i feel a bit sad for him having been lumbered with this inheritance/money stuff.. It cannot be easy for him…
Despite all the current ‘fire’ and fighting energy I want to stay compassionate towards everything.. I have been lumbered with this huge Saturn block to both my Moon and Mars.. I have to face the guy I love going into a war situation for the next two or more years.. it really is painful.. The other night I had a dream I was trying to get in through a door but a man had all this stuff stacked up against it he had to move it away.. there was another way to get into the room around the back, I noticed in the dream but instead this guy was there trying to move the stuff as I pushed on the door. . This made me think maybe some of my brother’s own baggage and ‘stuff’ is blocking our relationship.. I tried to make amends for some ways I may have pushed him away in that email I wrote but maybe he did not know what to make of it.. Or this dream could more likely be about my own inner masculine blockages.. or stuff that needs to be moved or shed for peace.
Anyway it is all good.. I just need to keep moving in positive directions in my life and facing and finding another way to approach things that does not derail into more anger, frustration or conflict.. The angels remind me all the time how limited and disconnected humans can be.. I am listening to a lot of Lorna Byrne talks and am very interested in the spiritual retreat center she is trying to set up in Thomastown in Ireland with the help of her two children… Lorna says in this talk that as humans we do have the ability to set up heaven on earth but in order to do so we do have to change so many of the ways we disconnect from the soulful and spiritual realms.
I have a strong desire to go and visit this retreat in Ireland once it gets up and running, and when I get my funds would love to donate a portion to help…never at any time in history did we all need to find a way to come together in peace, love, empathy and understanding…the alternative egoic way is not working or bringing happiness to anyone.. The angels remind us all the time to keep our connection to nature and factor in times for stillness, silence and inward listening in order to connect to inner voices. and angelic guidance.. positive, loving forces.. time too to be recognizing the destructive voices that do not speak with love.. never was it more critical for us humans to find a way to do so.. the future of this beautiful planet and our ability to connect in love with other humans who are struggling and suffering to be a force of peace and assistance rests in our hands..
Emerging From The Dark Night 