If I knew then : how to grow?

If I knew then

What I know now

I would be kinder

Even when it felt like you were hurting me

Or did not understand

If I knew then

I would have lent a helping hand

Knowing that a marriage is about supporting one another

There were times I was so wrapped up inside my own pain

I did not see you

I know it must have hurt you

And made you feel so lonely

Then

I hope you can forgive me

I can forgive myself

Lately

The more I realise

I was just a young girl inside a woman’s body

That did not know a lot

Mostly of how to get get her own needs met

But on another level she always knew what she longed for

Something looser and less rigid than this stitched up world

But sometimes too I was obstinant

Because surrendering felt

A little too much

Like a loss of control

There was a time you said

You can keep your ego

No love

But other times I bled

When your’s was raging

God knows none of us is perfect

So the best we can ever try to do

Is reach out

Reach within

And try our best to live and learn

How to grow

In understanding

Of life

This world

And our fellow humans