Funny how synchronicity works. I just went to get my phone to write a post on joy as my Higher Power was telling me some things as I was sitting and praying and someone liked an old post I had written on the child who comes to believe they are a source of pain to a parent who is not all that keen on their expressions of their authentic self, especially happy assertive or energetic expressions.
Earlier I had been thinking about how important a good sense of humor and ability to laugh at ourselves is for mental health, I was actually waiting for a coffee at the local deli and a lady jumped the queue without realising it and then made a joke of it, in a way that got everyone laughing.. It was just so nice to be around that energy of happy uplift and fun that connected all of us standing there waiting. The message I had been getting from HP was that God wants us to be joyful (even at the midst of our pain, sorrow or difficult things) because when we do not resist the full brunt of our spirit’s emotional expression, it is more likely that all of our feelings will in time alchemise or transform into a sense of living that becomes life enhancing, rather than life denying, blocking or repressing.
The word enthusiasm actually means to be full of God or ‘theos’, we all know those people who are full of passion, life, hope and fire and have the capacity to uplift and who can bear with through the hard times.. It may not be something we are born with though, it may be something we have to develop along the way as life presents us with all kinds of experiences.
When you read about the biblical encounters Jesus had with the Pharisees and High Priests often they we dour, lacking in mercy and not up for any fun much at all and Jesus was quick to highlight their restrictive prohibitions and joyless self righteousness and shift the emphasis back to compassion and the allowing of human foibles.
It also seems to me that when our spirit is not squashed (and our access to joy and the sheer delight of being stolen or blocked) we feel lighter, freer, more able to create, be open, be spontaneous and play. We keep a light grip on life and move with the energies of the day…that said some may have more intense expression of spirit but even this does not have to be ridiculed or shamed by people which so often can happen when people want everything left ‘light’ and ‘cool.’ That may sound contradictory or paraodoxical but what hurts is to have the access to our true passionate, creative life energy blocked or stymied, in this kind of situation we have to look inside and to other sources to find encouragement and approval while working to side step some of the ways others may try to derail our enthusiasm.
Having been on the receiving end of this kind of thing in my own has been tough but lately I get why, though as many of you know its taken time turn around the internalised messages of ‘wrong’, ‘bad’, ‘too much of this and too much of that!’ to just feel okay and not as unsafe around others who do not necessarily have these kind of hang ups from their past. Over time I internalised that joylessness myself due to intense insecurity and self centered fear.. This made my ability to reach out and engage with others at times, limited.. But in reality it was only the internal killer or judge blocking my own way to joy out of fear.
I read a really good poem on the killer or the judge yesterday called Condemnation.. In it the poet spoke of this force : an energy also addressed in Linda Leonard’s book on psychological recovery from addiction, Witness To The Fire which shows how the force of self will run riot that puts one’s own self centered pride above kindness and empathy for the hearts and feelings and humanness of others can kill off connection within a person’s who defenses against pain do not allow them to melt into it and come to know the sweet relief of becoming vulnerable. There is joy that is found at the bottom of that deep well of suffering which for some of us may require of us a long fall into pain before we find the courage to rise again.
The pain of the blocking of one’s positive self expression may be carried on from a parent who had their own blocked at a certain time and had to resort to powerful defenses in order to survive. So the killing goes on into the next generation and joy as well as a sense of the redemptive power of creative expression can also be lost. Creative expression for many of us requires the courage to face up to fears of the killer or judge energy coming at us from others, and creativity and courage also link us to joy, a joy that arises as we touch base with a freedom of emotional and spiritual expression that may have been disallowed in our younger lives by a number of forces..
In the Courage to Create, Rollo May points out that courage requires one to be centered, and this requires a commitment, a vow to stand in the center.. Actualizing one’s potentialities gives one a sense of joy, the heightened awareness, and the ecstasy one feels in the creative process. All this requires the courage to choose to create and stand in the center of this ongoing process..
the center of a Self that is at heart, full of creativity.
The more you love yourself the more your energy expands.
Anita Moorjani
Emerging From The Dark Night 