My emotions

At times my emotions are a mystery to me

I do not always know when it is grief

Knocking on the door of my soul

Leading me to realise

I am very far from whole

Undivided

And deeply in touch with myself

My therapist often tells me

Relationships were so confusing for me

In my birth family

Mum would storm

And then there were those years

They took her womb and she fell into both

Storms of anger

And silent grief

Often working so hard

And not really being there at all

Its not easy to remember

What we suffered as a child

When our heart was wide open

But others were so often closed

Or turned the other way

Suffering deeply within

From inner demons

And then he saddest thing is

We can repeat this ourselves.

Just to keep ourselves safe

I am trying

Over time

To make better friends with my emotions;

God knows its not an easy road

When intellect blocks or confuses feeling

Leaving us reeling

But never the less

I will take the time to slow down

Center within and pray

To be shown a more connected way

To be in touch

With all of my emotions.