A true friend : the best anti-dote to suicide

I was thinking a moment ago about the Henri Nouwen quote I shared yesterday on the friend who cares and I thought how such a present receptive person may be our best defense against acting on suicidal thoughts. Believing that not one living soul truly knows, cares or understands us I am sure lies behind many a suicide.. it may not be fully true that no one is there but it may also be true, often…that the person felt there was no one real there to share the depths of what they were going through inwardly.

It can take time to learn how to be present for people in depression or anxiety (as well as for ourselves). It can take time to see how our fears or anxieties may lead us not to be helpful to people in need.. And it may take time to see how our own defenses may stand in the way or to have compassion for the defenses of others who went through deep soul loss or hurt in a young life and felt the need to put that sadness away and then used anger as a defense or a protection and had then to defend against us expressing any form of emotion.

Kat often says to me that my anger kept me alive and there was anger over things that HAD TO BE THE WAY THEY WERE.. BECAUSE PEOPLE WERE LIMITED AND COULD NOT SEE ME AND WHAT I NEEDED AT THE TIME.

I came across this quote a while back. It really spoke to me.

The day a child realises all adults are imperfect,

he becomes an adolescent.

The day he forgives them, he becomes an adult.

The day he forgives himself, he becomes truly wise.

Aiden Nowlen

But if we cannot yet have compassion and forgiveness for others and ourselves and fully understand our wounds or how they shaped us, then we may find help from a friend or soul witness who can stand firm and allow us to be confused and all at sea in the mess while holding open a field of love in which we can struggle, without rescuing, just as the caterpillar must struggle to release itself into its butterfly life after a long dark night spent inside the cocoon, transforming.