Truly if we wish to be at peace we have to become mindful of the power of our thinking for good or ill.. It is something I am learning more and more, when my mind travels into the dark and loveless places that is all I see of life, all I can feel, all I can experience and I do think the mind can conjure up a thousand reasons why its better not to reach out, be vulnerable, long, hope or trust again, especially after great hurt..
It might be these few days that straddle Christmas and the New Year, I hear other people struggling with dark thoughts at this time and for those of us who have anniversary trauma or are missing loved ones, Christmas tends to bring up all the wounds and open up the hurting places.
The saddest thing Scott told me this afternoon is that over Christmas Boko Haram murdered over 110 people.. They did this because as Muslims they abhor followers of Christianity.. I know that this is only one extreme sect of the religion turned toxic and destructive, its not the way many Muslims act but it filled my heart with grief today and made sense of why the last few nights were very intense for my body energetically.. As empaths I know we can pick stuff up in the collective.
Tonight I am grateful to remember that I am loved by someone special, who always tries to find tolerance when I doubt and mistrust. But I am also mindful of where my mind can go and my heart follows into those dark places.. I want to believe in a life that is more full of goodness, where humans can trust, love and reach out to connect, for myself I do not always find it possible but at least I am mindful and tonight I express gratitude that I live in a place where I am safe from threat. So much suffering in the world.. its breaks one’s heart when I hear of it.
I know there is always a way to turn my thinking around.. I am aware of the negative impact on my body when my thoughts turn dark.. A valued follower recently suggested saying the name of God over and over when negative fearful thoughts come, either that or I can surrender those dark thoughts to God as I remind myself of the fact that light is always available should I try my best to look for it.
Emerging From The Dark Night 