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Reality?

Here within this reality I feel squeezed

I also feel unreal

As though parts of myself have splintered

And fallen away

Deep into the void

There are no words that we can say

To reach the truth of everything

And may be this is why

When we are together

My chattering runs away

Like a skittled horse

That lost its rider

When a bolt of lighting

Pierced the air

In a storm

Have our two worlds shifted very far away

Each revolving on its separate axis?

Truth falls into silence

As anger rises

At all the things it is so useless

To feel anger for

Life is life

So why does it so often feel like a double edged knife

That cuts me away

Every day

Returning home I thank the Gods for silence

As a strong wind blows

I never fitted into the human world

And I am so done with trying

All I do anyway

Is lie to myself

When I try

And God knows how much our soul requires

Honesty

So let me be

Set me free from trying any more

Because the harder I try

The more I die

And it frightened me to hear myself

Say the words to you today

Maybe it would have been better

For everyone

(including myself)

If I had never been born

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Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Abandonment Depression, Disconnection, Poems8 Comments

8 thoughts on “Reality?”

  1. And somewhere deep within you, you know that this isn’t true… you had to be born, it was your dharma to be here however you showed up and whatever the Universe presented you (and me) with. We are here for a reason and ultimately to love and to be loved.
    I send you heaps of love right now ❤

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    1. I know Michelle, even as this burst out of me this afternoon with my sister I knew it wasn’t the truth but I honestly did feel like that a lot… I dont know if today I revisited something to shed it or what happened but the feeling has passed now.. I do appreciate your feedback.. I really appreciate it and the wishes of love.. ❤

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  2. I don’t know quite how to phrase this, but I have a habit of sinking into feelings that the real me is “dangerous” to others happiness and “hurtful” to others. It often comes about after I have been interacting with someone close to me and it didn’t go in a way I like. It’s a newer observation for me. I do not believe it is the truth, but in those moments I am flooded with feeling like it is. It hurts me very badly because I love those close to me.

    This poem reminded me of that feeling. I’m curious if this experience is something you relate to?

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