Some thoughts on letting go

Sometimes surrendering and letting go seems like a ‘defeat’ but there is wisdom in it, and especially if paths get blocked one too many times.. There are some that say you have to keep on struggling, don’t give up the good fight but I just feel there is a time that the peace of your soul comes first.

Mars Pluto is notorious for self will and struggle.. Both planets rule Scorpio where transiting Mercury (planet of communications, short journeys, mind and siblings) is placed at the moment while the two ruling energies square (or challenge) each other for the second time in a month or so… we may be seeing at the moment where struggle proved useless or got us too wound up…

I remember astrologer Erin Sullivan saying once with Mars retrograde it is the larger Self that is control of things, not our smaller will or ego and if we meet blockages there is a good reason. Maybe they will not even become fully clear until Mars goes forward again and squares Pluto for the third and final time later in November, I just don’t know I only know to watch what happens and learn.

The thought of letting go though to me seems like an act of strength and wisdom. My Mum had three planets in Scorpio and some of her favourite lines came from Kenny Rogers song “The Gambler” that say : “you gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them, (the cards), know when to walk away and know when to run.” It’s good advice… and sometimes we only learn the lesson in retrospect as life has a way of carrying us along another flow or trajectory at times, from the one we intended.

I just know at the moment I am not going to force anything.. It is not a time to take a lot of action, its time to get centered, spend some quiet time kicking back and just observing our habitual reactions for sure as eggs with Pluto thrown into the mix any compulsivity may show us where we have some earlier unresolved issues.

Today I am letting go. I made my feelings known about something I felt to be unfair earlier today and I feel at peace. I notice lately I just don’t have that compulsivity I used to around this time of day which always was so triggering for me. In fact I had a long chat with my Nana in spirit today and said I understood how hard it was her raising Mum in the years after my granfather, Bluey died from war injuries. ..Mum only spoke about how hard it was in her later life and she passed some of that lonely abandonment pain and insecurity down…

Luckily I am at peace with having been left alone so much now, I see it as part of my path of life and not to be rejected as ‘wrong’ just the way things worked out and if I have insecure or anxious and ambivalent attachment at times to the extent I get things a bit distorted and over react when others go AWOL I will just take that on board too.. it feels good to be at peace with it all and not struggling as hard today. I can also get more of a sense when past history may be being triggered if I have some explaining to do, do it, knowing I am in the end only human and learning how to relate at this later stage of my life.