Posted on

Complete overwhelm

Am beseiged by overwhelming thoughts and pain today.. It honestly feels like life would be better to be dead. how can a human hurt another human..how can they lie to you and make promises and use your vulnerability to prEy on you, and why didn’t I SAY NO.. HE WOULDN’T STOP HE KEPT BARRAGING ME WITH EMAILS AND i LET SOME OF THEM GO AND THEN HE KEPT ON AND AND ON sending me ‘evidence’ of things like money being held ‘by the military’ and retirement certificates.. but it was all BULLSHIT ALL LIES.. NOTHING I COULD DO SEEMED TO MAKE HIM STOP.. SO MUCH MONEY SO MUCH MONEY.. BUT i ended up being pushed and pulled around and now i feel so guilty and ashamed.. its horrible and it hurts.. I never hurt people I try to love all the time it JUST HURTS SO FUCKING MUCH. BUT I DID THIS TO MYSELF. i DIDN’T HAVE THE STRENGTH TO STOP IT OR SAY NO!!

(I KNOW ITS ONLY MONEY AND I AM STILL ALIVE BUT THESE ARE THE FEELINGS AND PAIN AND THOUGHTS I AM STRUGGLING WITH IN THE AFTERMATH OF BEING SCAMMED!)

Unknown's avatar

Published by: emergingfromthedarknight

"The religious naturalist is provisioned with tales of natural emergence that are, to my mind, far more magical than traditional miracles. Emergence is inherent in everything that is alive, allowing our yearning for supernatural miracles to be subsumed by our joy in the countless miracles that surround us." Ursula Goodenough How to describe oneself? People are a mystery and there is so much more to us than just our particular experiences or occupations. I could write down a list of attributes and they still might not paint a complete picture pf Deborah Louise and in any case it would not be the full truth of me. I would say that my purpose here on Wordpress is to express some of my random experiences, thoughts and feelings, to share about my particular journey and explore some subjects dear to my heart, such as emotional recovery, healing and astrology while posting up some of the prose/poems which are an outgrowth of my labours with life, love and relationships. If anything I write touches you I would be so pleased to hear for the purpose of reaching out and expressung ourselves is hopefully to connect with each other and find where our souls meet.

Categories Uncategorized4 Comments

4 thoughts on “Complete overwhelm”

    1. Thanks so much.. the whole thing is so goddam confusing.. I guess only time will tell. I keep thinking maybe its silly to vent everything here, an unwise move and will jusr show what a fool I am but he is swearing this is genuine.. Anyway I took this down again until I saw your comment in my email so I re-instated it maybe I just need to share my messy mixed up confused journey and not worry about any kind of censorship.. I am all out of answers lately…hugging you too.. thanks so much for your love and friendship, lovely ❤ ❤ ❤

      Like

      Reply

  2. You have a good heart. Don’t let this take that away from you. I have a boundary with money, it goes to charity or if I give it to someone I know that needs a hand, I expect none of it back. Anything you do in good faith, God accepts and gives credit. Your not a fool, just kind. Set your boundary for what you think is the right thing to do.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment