Its interesting to me that around the same time last year similar feelings of grief and helplessness were going on with my sister. It still agonises me at times as J try to let go…not knowing if keeping any distance is truly helping.
The temperature is intense in my sister’s room, as I try to arrange the bunch of freesias I bought for her at the markets into a vase that the hospital provides that isn’t really the right shape or size for them. I feel that intense mix of emotions which I cannot articulate and so I ask questions and babble on with some of my ‘news’ while my sister sits feet spread out on the bed in front of her. She complains of being tired and tells me the doctor has recently put her on a new medication. I ask her if she is getting any exercise at all. I don’t have the solutions for my sister’s depression and I cannot change it, I know she is on her own path, I try to stay connected but its always with mixed feelings because our history has not always been easy but…
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Emerging From The Dark Night 