the ocean of my mind

the ocean of my mind

so often restless

may find calm

as I stop to notice

how in breathing

I stop or slow the tide

of disconnection and togetherness

at times I close my heart

like the petals of a flower

that thrive on sun

when darkness and storms come

at others all I can do is open

and surrender to the waves

that flood me

coming from somewhere

so very far away

and then there are times

I wake within the dream

and feel so disoriented

wondering

whose life is this that i am living?

But I know

each and every step

I took to arrive here

was mine

I longed for you

while sometimes wishing

I could only run so very far away

at times I broke your heart

I am sorry

but it was not wrong

just the way I tried to stay alive

and get along

in a life where sometimes

my mind drove me to lengths

impossible for my body and emotions

to contain