This afternoon I am allowing myself the rare privilege of just kicking back and reading a book after my morning outing with Jasper.. It’s a beautiful day here and I noticed that I am in a place of just ‘being’ at the moment.. Thoughts about my sister emerge but I just try to remember to accept things as they are right now. I cut the conversation with someone who was annoying me earlier and I said no to someone else who tried to pull me in to ‘help’ them for a third time.. The person in question accused me of being angry but I don’t care, this is about self care and it is something I never had the self respect to fight for before this.
I find thinking less and worrying less is good for me as is allowing myself to let go of nearly all the things I am powerless over.. The anniversary of Jonathan leaving passed yesterday and I had a good day.. I didn’t even think about it much and it seemed to me on reflection I did a lot of grief work over it in the past two months and have now moved through a lot of the pain…I see everything that happened needed to happen, no one did anything wrong for where they were at at the time.
This afternoon life feels so peaceful and relaxed…I feel so at home within myself right now… home is a pretty special place to be..what is even better is feeling at home and at one inside myself.. its been a while since I felt this kind of peace and it’s nice to share about it when it happens…
Emerging From The Dark Night 