I wrote this just two months before my mother passed in 2017 . In it I explore those tides that pulled me in and out. Therapy was tough today..not enough time to be with the expense that is my soul journey…life is too analytical sometimes but we need our mind still to make sense of all these tumultuous currents and energies we bathe within.
When I was born
The ones we loved
Were slipping away
Death stole in
And quietly took the man who gave you shelter
For those 22 years
Memory of the hospital bed
Where you placed my basinette Is buried
But I remember it in my bones
The quiet silence of loss
That threaded its way
Around the perimeter of our lives
Stealing in
Through porous spaces
So young
Not knowing
Or understanding
But only feeling
When the tide was coming in
To claim another soul
I loved
Nothing was ever secure
And I was always aware
That the ground I stood on was shaky
No matter how firm you tried to make it become
That ghost of insecurity hovered
And it was my constant companion
So that when later traumas struck
It was almost too much to bear
I only knew
The tide was coming in
And I could do…
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Emerging From The Dark Night 