with the remembering

Angry words that you said

Still go round and round in my head

And no one really knows how much I have struggled

With forgiveness

There are times like these when

I start to feel the full brunt

Of denying those feelings

That had no place

Then agony comes as I remember

How there was no space

To feel free to be myself

Just letting the river flow

So if at this time of night

I sometimes experience the chaos

Of the avalanche

As tears burst free

Tearing at the tissues in me

Then there is often no way known

To hold back the flow

Of aching memories

Pain is here as I remember how it was

To know

That soon we may have to say goodbye to you

And no one knew then

How quickly the end would come

So its it any wonder that sometimes I held back my heart

While at others all I could do was rage or run

And no one really understood at depth

What the frenzy was all about

But now it all makes sense

Even if only to my soul

And the angels know

I struggle still

With forgiveness

Especially when those memories

Of angry words come

As my heart it comes undone again

With the remembering