Hold me : hidden need

I longed for this so often

The comfort of loving arms to hold me

A place of containment

Where Mum and Dad’s love

Wove a strong net to keep me secure

But all I experienced instead

Where these tears

And so many comings and goings

As you all grew into your own lives

So now if I always falter

Looking back

Longing to be seen and connect

Please be patient with me

You see it was so hard to trust

Held hostage in a world so insecure

Where I struggled so hard

To hold myself together

When what I most needed was instead

To fall apart

So if my holding ground

Became these substances

So much more secure than loving arms

Again be patient with me

The very last thing I want or need

Is to become a burden

But oh how my soul so often aches too

For someone

Just sometimes to see

Deep into the heart

Of my hidden need