Sometimes our own loss or fear or pain just seems overwhelming.. Deep within the space of experiencing it, it can seem as if we are the only one undergoing it, and at that point, to all intents and purposes we are.. And yet the truth is that everyone suffers loss, everyone at some point will lose someone or something they love, everyone will feel pain and some losses at the time will feel unbearable or as if they were too much to witness or contain… But the truth is that over time we do find a way to adapt and carry and process the pain… Never the less some losses and wounds will always remains alive and raw…
The loss of my Dad is still raw with me after all of these years, that loss and the truth that he didn’t protect me from Mum still aches and hurts and it left a wound that I discovered again today when someone I met online began messaging me and stirring it up.. and it was a strange case of synchronicity as at that point I had just posted a link to an article on the Chiron wound and my Dad had a very strong Chiron link to Venus, sign of money, values and relationship and in his life I often felt Dad put material things above love in his life.. he worked just too darned hard to amass a secure physical existence as well as a larger house and in the end I wonder what it was all for when it only ended up causing us even more suffering..
The truth is I still reel at times from that wound myself in trying too hard to amass things on the physical level that are just not that important in the long run too.. For example I have often shopped instead of just spending time with people so I cannot really blame it all on my Dad.
I just read a post about someone whose mother died and it made me realise that none of us gets out of this life without some kind of suffering.. and that it is, from the point of view of knowing about and embracing our suffering that we become most able to connect to the suffering of others, instead of remaining narcissistically impervious…
Most surely suffering is not the only thing that exists, for there are also happy times in life and positive experiences and yet the great truth, too is that everything passes in time.. good times, bad times they all pass but some of us just carry more wounding of good things being absent, stolen or aching. Those wounds represent our opening to the sense that we do not always have ultimate power or control over anything at all and the best that we can hope to do is gracefully accept what comes and goes while realising that in common with every other human we struggle and suffer in both similar and different ways.
Opening to our wound takes courage. Accepting the pain in takes courage, admitting to our pain also takes courage when confronted by those who (not having experienced it) will try to deny it is real or legitimate. Letting go of the pain also takes a kind of wisdom and courage, too.. Sometimes we can tend to identify too strongly with our pain and allow it to become all encompassing.. we can ark up the wound and use it as an excuse to enact more pain on ourselves or others, ideally though, if we allow ourselves just to feel it, while letting it pass on through, while using it as a fuel to reach out to others and so acknowledge our deeper interconnectedness, that perhaps may be making the very best use of our pain.
Emerging From The Dark Night 