The darkness

I am clearing out my drafts folder today… so much I write doesnt make it past the critic. I am a bit tired and raw today but not totally in the dark, that said this expresses a struggle I can have with my PTSD on the tough mornings.

The darkness that fell

Sometimes lives on in me

I struggle to breathe

Not fully understanding why

The promise of each new day

Is shot through with shards of metallic grey

As I feel deep within my limbs

A creeping paralysis

And as I struggle to break free

Of the powerful shadow

Of trauma, fear and negativity

All alone it becomes at times

Harder to embrace the now

And move my energy forward in life

Especially after latest blows

Have struck me down

Pulling me into the darkening place

Where all the wounds and lacerations

Just repeat

Please, do not give up on me

If at time I put up walls

Or run from the loving comfort

Of your embrace

You may not see beneath my grieft

The one who so often longs for tenderness

But often forgets

To show it to herself

And that is when the darkness grows

Most powerful

In its hold

Eclipsing the light

Of each day’s

New beginning