Invisible

Here amongst all the cacophony of white noise

And busyness

I hear your chatter

Talking of projects and family

As my mind wanders to the life

That I live

Invisible here

Under the surface

Waiting for any form of recognition

That I am seen

But its okay

It was always this way

Me observing

Always just a few steps away

On the perimeter

Always feeling as though

I was from another place

It doesn’t hurt as much any more

The way it used to before

You have no reference point for me

And there is so much more that I see

That would never figure in your world

And yet I realised something tonight

I love you because you are family

But you were born before the axe came down

And you had a father for all of those years

When I was lost

And your world was never so badly shattered

Nor your body torn apart

In the toilet I shed the tears

I cannot share with you

And comfort myself

Grateful to finally be

Free of resentment

For I see now

It was just the way it went down

And I truly do not know if there will ever come a day

That the heart and deepest part of me

Is not completely invisible to you