The Catch 22 is that only people with a strong sense of self, who have healthy levels of self-assurance, emotional resilience, and a secure attachment style would have the reserves required to attempt to make things work with a narcissist. Unfortunately, these same people generally possess healthy boundaries and would quickly leave the narcissist due to the narcissist’s selfishness, exploitative traits, and various forms of abuse. Because of this, narcissists seek out those who are themselves vulnerable, who have inner wounds they try to rectify by garnering the narcissist’s approval, who have an insecure or anxious attachment style, and who are fixers/rescuers.
The above is a direct quote from Kim Saeed’s blog on why we should not feel sorry for people who portray themselves to be ‘vulnerable’ narcissists. They usually have an excuse for why they cannot really be there for you and pull on the wish of their targets to be connected at any price, a promise the narcissist will never be able to honor. Kim helps those in recovery by focusing on healthy behaviours to free ourselves from abuse. It may be of help.
Emerging From The Dark Night 