I wish : please forgive me

I wish I had stayed closer to you

I really do

I needed you

And you needed me too

But need was hard to admit

And we need ‘our space’, too

And now

It is only with retrospect

And a heart cleansed by so many tears

That I see things more deeply

I remember the bunch of flowers you brought for me

Before you and Sue went to the coast

On the anniversary I could not accompany you to

And of the phone calls that came

When my sister collapsed

And her family screamed at her

To get out of bed

Couldn’t they see how much she was trying

Couldn’t they see how her heart was breaking

But how could they understand her silent grief

And her struggle

I wish I had been there

I really do

To fight for you

I fear that I abandoned you

Please forgive me

It was fear

Of breaking down

After all of those years

Mum you loved me I know

And I am so so sorry

Please forgive me