Lately I watch a lot of comedy in the evenings and I just experienced and energy uplift of joy at several witty poems I read from writers on WordPress that really brought a smile to my face and seemed to offer an anti dote to the grief that has been around me over the past few days. I also had the realisation in therapy after talking everything through with Kat today that I don’t feel the need for 12 step meetings as much any more. I seem to get triggered there with all the intense spiritual pain and lostness at times that I feel a long walk in nature with Jasper happily bounding along and expressing joy tends to uplift my soul just that little bit more. Kat’s feeling is that personally I have come a long way and though I go to these meetings to connect, at the end I don’t actually connect deep in my soul with anyone there as much as I may do if I write poems or just get connected to my higher self or higher power in another way.
I was also reading something I feel to be true, when we get to the point where we are looking less for love out there and feeling it more from within it becomes easier to live in a state of joy and acceptance of where we actually are and feel connected to spiritual love. Someone was sharing how they often feel abandoned by God or their higher power but I had the sense they were sitting in the dark but not reaching out in love to themselves from within. I was sharing that when I do that then I feel so much better. When higher self turns up from the inside to be there then the void of emptiness or loneliness goes away in a way that it often doesn’t if I look for it in the purely outside ‘human’ world.
Anyway I read a lovely daily meditation by Tian Dayton last night that spoke of how we truly are never alone on a spiritual level, its only when we lose that connection to higher power or higher self that we feel so alone. How and where we find it is unique for each of us. Some of us find it through nature, some through poetry, some through active service, some through music, some through other creative pursuits and others through silence or attuning within in meditation. I also find it when I have a good belly laugh at some ironical take on the silliness or lunacy of the human condition. Such moments give a sense of lightness and joy, they take away the sting of seriousness or stuckness I can sometimes feel lost inside. When such moments happen I am so grateful for them. So fellow WordPress poets thanks for making my afternoon by giving me something to smile about. 🙂
Emerging From The Dark Night 