Ineffectual

The astrologer said

Saturn Mars

Is the father who barred

The way to self expression

So here is my lesson

To look for all the ways

Messages absorbed

Blocked me from

Light, strength, life and power

There were years and years and years

That I withstood the rain shower

Which bespoke

The obliteration of tears

And all of my energy

And joy was stolen

As I digested your powerful

No!

The way was barred

And the earth was scorched

Leaving only burnt out remanents

Of a former self

That I have been engaged upon

Long long years of recollecting

And as much as my soul desires

To sing its happy song

Perhaps the long drawn out lament

Of my suffering will be the necessary

Tune that precedes

A love song to the sun and moon

For when light was eclipsed

You stole my brightness

Covering me over with dust

And I don’t want to be

Just rust more

I want to even this mixed up score

Of ineffectual dismay

You bid me play

The helpless role I found myself trapped inside

Even years and years and years

After you went away