Detonate

Here I am longing for you

I keep my body braced tight

So as not to feel this aching

I keep the feelings pressed down inside

I hide

Because I fear what will happen

Should I open my heart and soul fully to you

There were so many times this longing

Hit the wall of abandonment fear

As gun triggers detonated all around

And then were was the peace to be found

Between us

But two wounded hearts

Often tear each other apart

Due to things buried rising up

I remember the day you kicked a chair

And how I stood close by

Not to far or near

And later you were so grateful

That I understood

But when it happened in reverse

I was cursed

With your long cut off and silences

Then read the riot act

I can laugh about now

But then it seared

The very nerves inside

But that is passed

And in a way I see

The working out of our individual destinies

Required of us this meeting

So that now

When I have finally found

Someone who accepts my ire

And gives love unconditionally

It is easier for defences to fall

And for me to feel both the longing

And the ache

That accompanies

My opening

To need

The love support and understanding

Of another human being