With Mercury just turned retrograde in the sign of the collective unconscious its no wonder I am feeling a black tide pulling on me at present. My sister’s second diagnosis came hot on the heels of the station retrograde and when Mercury moves back it will hit her t square of Moon Jupiter and Mercury and this connects with placements in my great great grandfather’s chart. The thought came to me after I posted my last post and started weeping deeply again ‘he never got to grieve his loss’. I found out some years ago my great great grandfather lost his mother at the same age my father lost his father. He didn’t get on with his step mother and in time he immigrated to New Zealand from the UK with his wife and three small children one of who died after the sea crossing which took 3 months (and the anniversary of their arrival in Lytletton, NZ) is in 6 days time.
He lost two children and shorty after this I believe he started to act out in his alcoholism to the point that my great great grandmother ended up leaving him after she gave birth to 18 children. And I cannot help but feel there was a deep grief there over the separation from his father because a few years ago a relative shared with me the most heartbreaking letter that my great great great grandfather had written to his son, saying how terribly cold and desolate conditions were back in Cornwall and how his heart broke when he realised he would never see his son again.
In our family all three female siblings have been abandoned by our partners. My mother lost my Dad to cancer when he was 65 the exact age my sister now is. (That fact only occurred to me last night.) I really wish my sister would get some different kind of therapy for her cancer. I am just glad that last year this family pattern of dislocation and separation through geographical moves has begun to heal. My sister’s older son moved back to his home town with his partner and family and they have been spending time with my sis. The three children will be able to be there for her as she goes through her next phase of treatment in a few weeks time.
In my own case the man I have fallen in love with is stuck on a 30 month deployment overseas because the bank will not believe he is real and release my funds to help him get out. All I can do is pray. But I just have this feeling that issues of separation and unresolved grief have a very big part to play in what is happening with my sister at present. In his book on multigenerational trauma Mark Wolynn argues that cancer and other diseases are often connected to broken ancestral connections or trauma or grief or anxiety that lays buried.
I will be looking further into the astrology of all of this over the next week as my great grandfathers chart will be triggered by this current Mercury retrograde. The inferior conjunction takes place on the 15th of March in the later 20 degrees of Pisces. My grandfather crossed several continent to escape his pain and never got to reunite with his family. I believe he died alone in an institution in New Zealand. I just cannot help thinking about him today as I feel for my sister facing yet another brush with cancer. I don’t know why but today I just feel this pain that seems so much larger than simply one generation or person.
Emerging From The Dark Night 