There is a saying that awareness of our past precedes acceptance of it and for some of us acceptance takes a long time, we may battle the reality of what occurred in our past or childhood for a long time, instead of working to accept, heal and change the things we can, which is how we learn to heal difficult behaviours, and deal with what we did and did not get in the now.
Without being aware of something we cannot accept it, that is why in 12 step recovery we make a searching and fearless inventory of our past. The fearless part is important as some things are very hard to look at and accept, most especially our powerlessness, but it is only when we accept this that we can seek our true power over the present situation.
With this in mind I just wanted to share the following daily meditation from Tian Dayton.
I Got What I Got
Today I accept that I got what I got growing up. Some of it was beneficial, some of it detrimental, and some good enough. What ever it was, it is what it was and nothing can change that. Because I have been willing to confront the dysfunctional parts of myself and work through emotional blockages, I have also been able to reclaim my joy and strength. This process of recovery makes me stronger, more supple and tolerant, more appreciative of life. While once I had a thousand theories and no experience, now I have a thousand days of experience and no theories. Life is simply life. Trying to fit it to models and patterns only reduces it for me. I know that it is not that simple. All the same, I know that it is nothing but simple. I can live at the centre of the paradox.
I accept and experience life.
Bloom where you are planted.
(And would add if you find yourself planted in toxic soil do something to uproot yourself and find the right conditions necessary for your soul and emotional self to thrive, not simple survive!)
Recovery is not about perfection; it is about feeling okay with myself so that I am in a better position to enjoy myself when I like it…
Emerging From The Dark Night 