Lost

Confused and lost

The child in you still hungers

I feel it so deeply as I watch

Deadened eyes light upon a little one

Recognition dwells of all you left behind

And it is impossible for me to stop the tears that fall

Silently from my eyes

As I wait in line to get you something

To fill you up

The buried hunger I see how deep it goes

And how no one else seems to know

The truth

All you say to me

Is that you have no memory of key events

Even at 11 years of age

Well God knows how many pages have been turned since then

In the story book of our lives

And my heart aches as I see how much you have lost your way to

But the smile of a child you recognised

Shows me a fire is still burning somewhere deep inside

If only they would stop the pills

And help you find a way to reclaim your energy from those ills

That in hurting kept you prisoner

As you bought into their lies

And as the child cries

Reaching for her distant mother waiting in line

And she turns to comfort her

I remember how little we were ever held or beheld

Ancestral wound oh how it sadly grows

And I am powerless to really know

How to heal or address this ache so deep 

Gone silent

That festers and grows

My soul can recognise these truths

As I make as much effort as I can

To spend time with you

Holding you in such a limited way

And when I tell you that I love you

And you do not reply

I will just let the pain go by

For loving just surely is its own reward

And I know now that my heart cannot stop loving

Just because you lost the words and the feelings

As well as the way home to yourself

When they silenced them within you

With pills and shock

Trying to convince you 

None of it ever made 

Any sense