Visible Braille

There was a storm

And there I was

The eye in the centre

Watching as the wind blew gales

And everything was torn away at the root

Unanchored I flew loose from my mooring

To unknown destinations

Where I searched everywhere

Fruitlessly for a place to call home

Only ever really knowing how to be alone

Making believe in a life

I never really understood

Longing for the liquid honey gold

That I just knew lay at the centre

And now

All of these years later

As my heart breaks

At your failure to return my calls

I cry tears and tears

 I feel my heart contract and almost tear apart

As you pull away

I do not know what is going on

I imagine the worst

How I will once again be locked out

Of a place of connection understanding and kindness

But what else did I expect

I was always running away

Because with you there was no home

No place that I felt I could be truly free

To be known to be fully me

So now if I ache here all alone

Then the only consolation I find is in this

A white computer screen

On which letters appear

The visible braille of unspoken longing

I could never ever fully express

Or make known

To you