Without a trace

There are days

When you disappear without a trace

And I know that you are staring death and destruction in the face

Thousands of miles from here

Slowly I am getting used

To this life of war you live

But when I wake

The thoughts of those who died on foreign soil come to me

And I wonder

Were their last thoughts

As they felt the bullet explode within their chest

Of the loved ones

Left behind

Of the tenderness of an embrace

That seems a million worlds from where they are

In hell

And then I remember the anger I felt with you

Only days ago

And of how it eclipsed totally

Any sense of love

And I know if you met your death

I would feel so very very sad

But this guilt I bear

Is not always justified

For I am only human

And sometimes love seems to go away

Even though it is still there in a heart that is beating

But just got scared

And felt pushed a little too far away

From its own comfort and safety