I usually feel an energy of newness following a new moon, but this one last night was particularly significant being at 18 degrees Leo in my first house of being and right on my North Node. I wrote and took down a post yesterday about the challenge presented to me on the eve of the New Moon Solar Eclipse yesterday. It concerned whether or not to help someone in strife and I made the decision yesterday to do it. It involves some money that I may lose and if so well I will wear it but at this stage I will trust the person is real, honest and genuine. It was the message I got yesterday which I wrote about in the blog which I will republish after this one, in it I spoke about the Lion Heart and intuition and listening to my heart. It was the message that all the readings I was guided to read yesterday gave me. And it was also about overcoming the fear of self expression to trust and be real.
I opened up to my sister yesterday and it felt good to be able to unburden myself. I kept apologising all through the unburdening though (???) and my sis was so loving and kind to me. I could tell she cared for my feelings and only wanted my happiness. And to say that this marks such a healing in our relationship and my former attitude to her is a big thing. I feel cleansed today.
The decision to help Scott sits right with me. I made it just before the eclipse was exact last night. I felt only a sense of rightness and peace after it and I slept so well last night.
I can’t say much and many of us are not fully aware of the situation in Nigeria at the moment but every single day Boko Haram are killing and looting and kidnapping innocent civilians, burning down buildings and causing a campaign of terror. Two US soldiers were killed last week. It might me hard for others to read I have compassion in my heart for the terrorists but I wonder what it is that drives them to believe human life can just be decimated so cruelly and callously for a freedom cause? There must be a reason. I am sure some rebellion is perfectly justified but in this case I just feel such great sadness for the entire situation, but most especially the innocent victims who lose lives every day as well as soldiers in both Nigerian and American armies sent there to defend and protect.
Contemplating our own death is a Buddhist practice that some of us might consider morbid, but there is something so stark and real about facing death if we have the courage to do so which can wake us up to the preciousness of this human existence fraught as it can be with ugliness, danger, fear, hurt, mistrust and peril (the dark side) as well as the beauty, preciousness (the light side) and gift of those things that we love that fill us with joy like a loved one, a sunrise or a moonbeam or starlight. We need a fully awakened heart to live in this climate and we need love too, for I was reading a beautiful meditation by Marion Williamson this morning in which she spoke about love as our highest purpose. I did the loving thing yesterday and I am so glad that I did.
Today feels fresh and new and I am sure there will be more darkness before the situation with Scott is resolved. Whatever happens I have peace in my heart today and its lovely to know that whatever happens I will be okay and find the capacity to deal with it if I just keep love and courage in my body, soul, heart and mind.
Emerging From The Dark Night 