Rebirth

What’s going on I cannot know

And this is something I have never ever said before

But for now I am going to keep the faith

That no matter what happens I can survive

Either dead or alive

 

There must be a force in life

That loves me through

That wants me to be all

And do all I can possibly do

To open up to life and live beyond

The depth of this anxiety I have carried

And at times I gain a glimpse

Of all that can be

But also all that was lost

That came at such an enormous cost

 

Last night I felt what is living on

But was nearly dead inside of me

Finally turn around

Forcing me this morning to jump out of bed

Dad you used to say

Just remember after I am gone

That life is for the living

And life goes on

But it seems to me that

For so many years I lived in death

Was only ever

A soul bereft

Of knowing how to fully live and love

Without great fear and reticence

A soul who knew however unconsciously

Only the haunting of a loss that left

So much confusion

And desire for fusion

 

But really all our souls are free

So its wrong to want to bind a soul to me

And last night in bed I wept to depths

For the pain of what I caused myself

Seeing things I could not see

And this is all I know

I cannot afford to live another day

With my face turned away

From life

For yesterday I held the full charge of the pain

Of those two times I nearly died

And now I know there is no time to waste

For I must show this world a hopeful face

Despite what ever adversity comes

Reborn as a soul that has known and lived so long

In fear and death

And wants so desperately now to live

And love

And to be all and give all

That she was born

To be capable of