Overpowered

This frustration I am enduring Is not new to me

It is the imprint That marked so deeply my unconscious In the hours before I was Propelled down the birth canal

Banked up in your womb I waited Like a train at station being shunted back Unable to pursue its long journey through Wild and free landscapes

So now as the pressure builds inside my breast And I feel a hand imprint on my chest Holding me back and down Squeezing away every breath While all of this longing and passion Stay trapped inside I am back again in the car Being crushed and cut

Or feel myself pulled this way and that by everyone else’s desire

Now is not then And I am free But not in one part of my consciousness

26 years later it all repeated At this time of year As I flew up and over the handle bars Crashing again Cutting my head open On a Cambridge Street So far from home And no one came

Can I let go of the angst and the imprints To finally understand This is just history repeating Nature showing me Some Soul pattern Buried deep?

All I can do is just surrender to it At least for now

Mid winter dusk is calm After our run around the park

I watched with joy how magnificent you were Chasing the light And know beyond a doubt that for me you will always represent the part of me that was Young and free

No longer so entrapped or imprisoned in that restrictive family

And so as I sit and type this out I smile as I finally draw a free breath

As I remember that even though The present is not the past Sometimes things repeat Over and over and over

As the subconscious is more powerful Than any might Any reason Can fathom

And it is we who are asked to bring it to light So that its darkness no longer exacts upon us

Such a powerful hold such an overpowering claim