I have shared portions from William Sieghart’s wonderful book, The Poetry Pharmacy before. This excerpt is just a wonderful healing balm for any one who may be struggling with self forgiveness and regret.
Coming to terms with oneself and one’s past is a crucial prerequisite for moving on, and for escaping those familiar patterns of thought and behaviour that have dragged one down for so long.
Luckily for all of us, when we’re finally prepared to open that door, the cupboard that we thought was full of snakes often turns out to contain nothing more frightening than dust. But self forgiveness is hard – of course it is. If it’s not hard, then we’re not doing it right. We’ve all had that flinching moment of sudden recollection: something we said or did which we regret so intensely that the feeling is almost physical. How could emotions this visceral be easy to overcome?
This poem reminds us forcefully of the difficulty of self acceptance. It braces us for the journey ahead, and reminds us what we are aiming for. We can try to live up to the ideal – to be at ease with our own mistakes, our own flaws – but we will inevitably fail some of the time. Anyone would. The trick is to keep the ideal in mind. The trick is not to be discouraged.
The Ideal
by James Fenton
This is where I came from.
I passed this way.
This should not be shameful
Or hard to say.
A self is a self.
It is not a screen.
A person should respect
What he has been.
This is my past.
Which I shall not discard.
This is the ideal.
This is hard.
Emerging From The Dark Night 