Unleash

Rain poured down

As everything fell to pieces around me

And I am on my knees in the dust

Scrambling to escape or gather together the wreckage

Bleeding from cuts not only external

But also those I caused

When I panicked instead of surrendering

To the flood

And to God’s darker will

It is only lately that I am seeing

How hard I had to fight

For some control

To swim not sink

And how rebellion and a fire lit within

That almost entirely burned down the house was all that saved me

Today you reminded me of that as I cried

I have never felt so undone

Nor so exposed

As I am today

Opening again to try and try so hard

To win what can only come as a gift

Freely given by life

And the harder I attempt to control it all

The more I realise now

What is needed is not a propulsive force

But rather surrender

To trust the flood will carry me

To the place I most need to be

To embark upon

The next phase of my journey