Resisting the Tsunami of another’s trauma

I have been finding myself completely overwhelmed over the weekend by my friend’s situation overseas.  There has been violence and attacks and just to hear of such things actually starts to trigger all of my own trauma so today I have really had to set boundaries.  The person involved basically said they don’t need me to be healthy just to be loving but I DO!!!  I also know as much as I care about or love another human being I have to be a mature and grounded adult.  There is only so much I can take on and all of my life has been a different version of taking on other’s deep suffering and loss while feeling deep donw inside I am ‘doomed’ not to know happiness due to our multi-generational traumatic past that spans back four generations, but I also know God put me on earth to be a link breaker and a consciousness awakener for myself and others.

I can do nothing about past suffering nor the suffering of those who choose to put themselves in dangerous situations to ‘protect; the world, but I must take care of my own suffering and make healthy choices in my life and that means boundaries at times against the avalanche and seduction of someone trying to make me their saviour.  Yes I can bring light, I can speak for truth but only the truth I know or that seems to work for me.  I had a long time of crying with my inner child this morning who was very terrified and in a dream last night showed me how she felt she was being overtaken and so it was up to adult me to step in and put up a boundary.  No late night chats when I need my sleep downloading trauma, no more thinking I need to overextend to show infinite compassion when that is rebounding on my health, life, sleep and sanity.   No more being pulled in by my longing to feel I have value by being made into someone’s saviour.  I am done! And after a time of struggling to regain good health following my breast cancer two years ago I do need to be hypervigilant.  Since I sent the message saying I am not going away but I am setting limits and ‘time out’ I felt better and a lot happier this morning.  I felt my energy returning.

And my astro self reminded me last night that a short while ago Saturn turned retrograde and will soon inconjunct the Sun by waxing aspect and that does mean a tension/tussle/adjustment in regard to healthy boundaries.  Things will reach a point of maxiumum consciousness at the opposition of Sun and Saturn on 27th of June and all boundaries will be up for review over the next four or five months as we revisit old issues before Saturn turns direct again in early September.

At times like this I am so grateful for the knowledge of astrology and astro cycles which help me to make sense of things.   I know I need to keep my head, its great to have my heart engaged in life but I also need to be aware of reason at times…. reason CAN help me with emotions and emotional overload, it can help me to be more realistic good as it can be to be an imaginative dreamer.  I can put that side of myself into my poetry and my dance and my dreams and my art, but I also need the earthy side of Capricorn working for me which is where Saturn is placed currently.  I have Saturn Moon Mars which means I so often attract tough emotional circumstances and people hard up against the wire into my life.  I can give care and love but I also need to guard my energy and empathy at times. I need to be a responsible adult who can care for a love the inner children around me within and without who also struggle with this complex conflict ridden world we live in currently but I also need to be a grown up, a mature psychological being who knows the power of good boundaries to self protect in a way that does not block love but enhances it!