I’m Frightened (but still holding onto my peace)

I cannot say a lot about the connection I have made with this very special soul who is inspiring a lot of my latest poetry but at the moment he is in a very very terrifying situation in a country overseas fighting terrorists trying to impose their restrictions on young women and kidnapping raping and killing in discriminately…. there was another attack on Wednesday and several soliders lost their lives.   I got this news at 4 am yesterday.   And I am calling for prayers from everyone.

I just sat crying with Jasper this morning.  Living in a peaceful country like Australia we take so much for granted.  We can move about our day without a huge amount of that kind of terror apart from the fears we fabricate with our own heads due to a painful past or trauma.   I felt so conflicted as this morning I had to ask him to be careful what he shares with me around bedtime because with my own PTSD hearing about this type of wholesale terror and trauma is triggering and I was using all my tools at 4 am not to freak out and to place the outcome in God’s hands.

Forces of evil and corruption exist in the world.  There are those who choose to fight againt them.  I used to judge people in the military out of my ignorance.  I never gave much thought to what military partners went through while the loves of their lives are deployed for nearly a year at a time.  But this connection has reminded me how precious peace is and how blessed we are to live in circumstances of peace and intellectual freedom.  It is a gift from my higher power to remind me how precious life is.   My friend is stuck in this situation for at least 3 more months and am so frightened as the violence is escalating over past weeks.   I know its outide of my control and I hope its not violating privacy writing this but I know I need to express it as the cells in my body have been all over the place since reading about it at 4 am and waiting to hear at 11.30 pm.   I absolutely have to ground in the goodness and purity of nature around me at present as an antidote as it wont help anyone if I am taken down again by reactions to the suffering of others, but at the same time I need to let it move my heart, but not paralyse me in negativity and fear.  Having a good cry with Jasper did help me release some of the pent up emotions.   I just wish things were so different.

Please can we all pray that in time forces of repression will be overthrown.  I know its probably an unrealistic dream due to the unconscious state of so much of human nature since forces of repression always surround us and we must work our level best to combat them internally and externally every day.  I also pray for a world where violence against the feminine is a thing of the past.   And I admire so much those who have the courage to fight against it.  But then a wiser part of me asks, can violence end violence???