Lost for words

Today I lost my words

As I felt how it was for you to disappear

And to have spoken the words you did

Why did I have to send more words to answer those

When really I just wish I could have let my body and my breath take it all inside?

Why do I argue

When people try to tell me

They see the light and beauty in me

Why do I negate a sense of self love?

When really

If there is anything at all

That bought us into existence

It can only be love?

There are those who say

\That fear can cripple us

I believe that it is true

And fear is the liar at times

At others the reminder of what was not safe before

And yet were we ever totally destroyed

Why do we so often

Only see lack

And spurn the gifts that come

That fall from the sky like rain

Is it just due to shame?

Unworthiness?

A sense that we are wanting?

I do not know the answer

I only know I wish

I could look into your eyes

And see there the light reflected

For I feel the love you tried to give me

And I realise I was not really open

To receive it