At times its good to look for the similarities and not the differences if we are using the later to distance ourselves from others, but at other times it good to acknowledge, accept and celebrate our differences. Behind a lot of bullying as I see it is the projection of differentness being associated with seeing someone else as less than or deficient in some way, when exactly the opposite may be true, the unique, different person may relate to reality in a different way or have unique gifts to give.
The following comes from The Pocket Pema Chodron which is a book of quotes taken from her writings. This one is on Embracing our Differences and it reminds us that keeping a light attitude of playfulness towards differences or conflict can help us to embrace the polarity at the heart of existence.
We are different. We are very different from each other. One person’s idea of what is polite is someone else’s idea of what is rude. In some cultures it’s considered rude to belch when you’re eating,and in others it shows that you enjoyed your meal. What might smell repulsive to one person might seem wonderful to another. We are really different and we have to acknowledge that. But instead of going to war because of our differences, let’s play soccer. It will be a strange game, given our instructions to let others have the victory and keep the defeat to ourselves, but that doesn’t mean that we play to lose, it means that we play to play. We could play together, even though we’re on opposite teams. There are not big stakes, just playing. There are different teams, otherwise the game won’t work. But it doesn’t have to lead to World WAr III or the destruction of the planet.
Emerging From The Dark Night 