Reaching beyond fear?

I reach for you

Never entirely sure what to say

I am getting frightened

That I no longer really know

How to be in relationship

It’s so hard

When you absorb other’s feelings

When you are hypervigilant to any look

That might signal

You did something wrong

But I know now

This all goes back to childhood

It was never really safe

Where we lived

Trying always

To do the right thing

Be quiet and contained

And dodge bullets

So now if I find it hard to connect

Am I being an adult

Or am I really still only just

This frightened child

Who feels her will is never strong enough to overcome

All the powerful forces and wills

Ranged against her

How then can I trust the world enough

To dare to live

In a place

Where I can only

Fear threat