When hope becomes despair

Its hard to breathe

I remember those times

Abandoned and wanting

When I hid my feelings

Under the stupor of substance

And then I could forget

How much my heart was aching

And how tender it was

Now I have no such defence

This soft sore spot in my chest

Is where I feel the wound

When I open my channel and it flows out

And hits a brick wall

But is the wall in my imagination

In the things I tell myself

Can my love be selfless

And I just give and not care

Or worry about return

Am I making something of something else

That is not really there

I only know its hard

When there is such hidden fear

And yet

There is bravery

In the feeling of it

4 thoughts on “When hope becomes despair”

Oh yes..bold beautiful authetic pain..teaches us and grows us into the BEAUTIFUL self we are meant to be..defenses gone..truth inside is the refelction we hid in the spaces where handing over oursleves began..then the reality we are ENOUGH..Thank you for the words so full of familiarity and the precious journey we all find.

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